This week's
Catholic Carnival is at Part-Time Pundit. Yay for being on the Google Groups list so I got the announcement myself, without having to wait to pick it up from
Happy Catholic (though I love Julie's blog). Highlight: Part II of Tom Reagan's wonderful
series on the Rosary. I highly recommend it, and agree completely with what he says—especially the part about understanding the Rosary better while in college.
From Christian Singles Today, we have an article called "The Gift of Loneliness.
Sometimes, when loneliness gets the best of me, I become angry and bitter toward God. How could he let this happen to me? I conclude he's cruel because he could give me a spouse in a flash, yet he refuses. So I choose to avoid him and just go through the motions of religion. I mutter under my breath in disgust. But then, aware of my need, I fall before him pleading—and he always answers with comfort, hope, or new paths for the future. Without loneliness, I'd run from him and not look back. But I can't, because this creature was created for intimacy with its Creator.
I had some desperate loneliness myself, right around Spring Retreat. It's been getting to me again over break. I miss being on campus because that is where my life is now. Almost all my friends are there. The CSC is there. I want to make school my career, and it is even now, though I'm on the student side for a few years yet. I have my family here, but since I live away from them most of the time, I'm growing away from them. Generally, that's a good thing, because it means I'm growing up as well. I just feel like I'm in this limbo between childhood and adulthood, and I have no idea when I'll be able to move on to the next stage of life. It's disheartening to have so little idea of what my future holds. I've grown so much closer to God over the part year, which has made my life infinitely richer. Unlike the author of that article, I'm not just on hold until I marry—I feel like I'm on hold forever. I don't know what will happen when the person on the other end finally picks up.
Yesterday, the CSC had a cookout. I had planned to go in to work anyway, so it worked out perfectly travel-wise. (We didn't have anything to
do at work, but that's beside the point.) I went straight to the CSC after I picked up my car from the garage, so there was almost literally no one there when I arrived. It was eerily quiet. Michelle and Fr. Bill weren't even around yet. So, being myself, I went into the library to read. Cathy showed up after about ten minutes, and eventually she and I and a guy named Nick went into the chapel, where there were more people. Joe, Cathy, and I started the Rosary, but Cathy was coughing a lot so it was just me and Joe for a bit. More people started to show up, and soon we had a small crowd going, yay. Michelle asked me to read about two seconds after I walked into the Chapel. Fr. Bill celebrated, of course. He went with the common for the feast of St. Aloysius Gonzaga. I was prepared for the proper, but the Holy Spirit and I have this agreement about lectoring, so it worked out fine. I didn't even trip on my flip-flops on my way up or anything. (Being on the altar in flip-flops felt weird at first, but then I saw Fr. Bill was wearing them, too, and Jesus wore sandals all the time.)
We wandered outside to fire up the grill after Mass. Fr. Bill recruited some aimless Knights to oversee the cooking, and I got to catch up with people while we waited. Lyzii liked the
Franciscan e-card I sent her for her birthday. It was so nice seeing everyone again. The conversation was just the thing to combat the loneliness I've been feeling. Sure, I IM people, but it's not the same. I knew I'd stick around as long as people kept talking. I didn't plan on being there until 9:45. I spent last fifteen minutes with Chris and Kaitlyn trying to figure out how to lock the Great Room doors, but Mike C. and some other people needed to get back in anyway, so Mike figured it out. I got home around 10:30 (there was road work that closed two lanes). When I went to tell the parental units I was home, my dad had apparently just commented on my being out "late." It's kind of sad that getting home at 10:30 is "late" now, when getting home just before midnight was a regular occurrence when I was in high school.
Either way, I had an awesome night. And Michelle and Fr. Bill asked me to be in charge of lectoring (liturgical ministry?), so I'm super excited. People keep asking me how to become lectors, and I'm always telling them that Stacey (who's been in charge until now) will put a note in the bulletin, but now
I get to put the note in the bulletin and do the training (which is easy, but still useful) and everything! Yay!
