Friday Five: The Boob Tube, The Silver Screen, & You
1) When you were little what was your favorite TV show? I used to love Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. The original was the best. We played Power Rangers on the playground during recess, and I was always the Pink Ranger because I was always mysteriously wearing pink, just like Kimberly.
2) What was your favorite movie? I was never a Little Mermaid girl. I don't think I had a favorite movie, really. I was more likely to be reading books, watching TV, or playing outside. Yeah, I used to play outside. Don't look so surprised.
3) What is your favorite TV show currently? Jeopardy! (With an exclamation point for happiness, not just as part of the proper title.) My favorite non-game show is probably either ER or Everwood.
4) What is the best movie you have seen so far this year? According to the movie ticket stubs in my wallet (I've kept them all since HP and the Sorcerer's Stone, I think), the only movies I've seen in the theater this year are The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and Rent. They were both fabulous.
5) If someone was going to make a movie or TV show about your life, who would play you and why? This is far too similar to a F5 question from a few weeks ago. I think I decided in my high school scrapbook that Raven Symone or Jennifer Freeman (from My Wife and Kids) would work best.

Yesterday's Word Among Us meditation was really good. I always pull out my Bible to do the readings, because it's helped me get more familiar and comfortable with the organization of the books. Today, as I was reading through the part from Wisdom, I understood it completely. We've been studying the Gospel of Luke in the CSC's Emmaus Bible study this year, and in these last two Thursdays we've studied the Passion. So when I read that section of Wisdom, I immediately knew it must mean Jesus. Sure enough, the footnote agreed. I've grown so much in my faith over this last year that I've been back at church. I say over and over how I hate symbolism, despite being an English major, because so much of it goes right over my head. (Also, people have read symbolism into my writing that is not there, so I try not to search for it out of respect to my literary colleagues.) That moment of recognition in Wisdom was an example of how much I've grown. I hate symbolism, but apparently typology isn't too high up for me.

So back to the meditation. I've blogged before about how I deal with God's will, especially for my vocation. I'm still discerning. I faltered... not even just a little bit. I backslid like mad. But God pointed that out to me, and now I understand and I'm back on the right track. I'm okay with being single, really, but I do get lonely. If I'm meant for religious life, at least I know I'm single for a reason, instead of this limbolike uncertainty. I've been granted patience, though, and a heart for prayer, so I manage. I've prayed for many things since I started praying about my vocation back in September, and I've gotten what I wanted, so I know God hears me. Either it's not yet time for me to know my vocation, or I just tried to pursue it the wrong way. I like to cross-stitch; I did it for a while in middle and high school. In middle school, my teacher gave us photocopied packets of small, 3x3-inch patterns we could make. I wound up making one that says, "Freedom starts by kneeling at the cross." That applies here, I think. The only way I can really be free and happy is by following God's awesome plan for me. Right now, I just really want to know what that is. With Samuel, I pray, "Speak, Lord, your servant is listening" (1 Sm 3:10).

I wrote those last two paragraphs yesterday. Today was the 2nd Annual Collegiate Eucharistic Congress at the CSC, from 10am to 6pm. I wasn't thrilled about getting up so early on a Saturday, but I knew so much Jesus time would be worth my while. I was running later than I planned, but I got there on time. I met some nice guys and one girl from the Naval Academy while we mingled before starting the sessions. Fr. Bill gave an intro talk and we exposed the Blessed Sacrament, then we prayed the rosary, which was handy because I was covered for today. We waited in silence until Fr. ... I can't remember his name, but he's from St. Augustine. He gave an excellent talk about how to experience God's love. (The theme of the Congress was Deus Caritas Est, which is also the title of B16's encyclical.) It was structured perfectly because I could follow it, but it sounded really natural. He used this image of our hearts as a jar. If you submerge a jar in water and then lift it out, it will be all full of water... unless you leave the top on it. If you leave the top on, it just gets wet. So, if we just go to Mass and pray with our hearts closed to Christ, we'll only be wet. If we want to be filled with His love, we have to open our jars.

After the first talk was lunch, then Lacy gave a talk about God's love and how she came to find it through her conversion. We had a few students from Gallaudet at the Congress, so they brought two ASL interpreters. Lacy was going so fast, the guy interpreting for her had to ask her to slow down. And then she paused later on to see how he'd handle "a moat full of dragony creatures." When she finished, Fr. Bill and Fr. Panke, the priest vocations director for the archdiocese, gave a tag-team talk about the sacraments. They did a good job summing everything up and showing how the Church shows God's love to us through the sacraments, as outward signs of inner grace. They took turns answering the faith questions from the Ask Father Bill box. Fr. Panke gave an excellent answer to the question about ordaining homosexuals to the priesthood. We also had an NFP expert who talked a little about why that is the Church's only morally licit form of birth control. My favorite part about question-and-answer sessions is when someone asks a question to which I already know the answer. The best thing about coming back to Church was how much I've learned about what Catholicism really is.

After the Q&A, we split into pairs for an Emmaus walk, where we discussed how God's love through the Eucharist affects our relationships. Fr. Bill encouraged us to pair up with someone we didn't know. I was sitting right near the students from American University, so I called out, "Okay, who needs a partner?" and met Jessica. She's from Mexico, so she has a really nice accent. I was distracted for a few minutes while I gave directions to the Metro shuttle to another girl (I hope she found her way), but we had a great talk. We walked around the CSC and the Lutheran church next door talking about God's love and our personal relationships, then I told her about living in Japan and Germany because it eventually came up.

We went back into the chapel for another speech, this time by the NFP expert, Bill Gorman. He talked about the different kinds of love. There's eros, which is the erotic, sensual sort of love we have for our spouses or people we're attracted to by appearance. (Being attracted to someone because of the way they look is not a bad thing. It's only bad if that's all you ever have.) Then there's filia, which is brotherly, friendly love, which is fleeting. When Jesus was arrested, he was with the apostles, but they all split. Last is agape, which is Christian love, the kind of love where you don't have to like or even know someone to love them. Maura showed up for that talk, and when I spoke with her afterwards, she said she thinks that's why we're so close: we have filia and agape love for each other. I've been trying to practice Christian love more. I read a ton of Catholic stuff, and I came across a few lists of things to do for Lent. One was to pray for someone you don't know, so I do that randomly. Yesterday, there was a girl sitting on the bench on my way into Susquehanna. I prayed a Hail Mary as I passed her. She didn't particularly look like she needed a prayer, but I like spreading God's love. Bill also mentioned that in his talk: the natural reaction to feeling God's love is to show it to others.

After Bill's talk, we split into halves for a final session and Confession. I milled around in the hall for a while, then went in for Confession. It's only been about a month, but I like confessing venial sins when there are such clear opportunities. I spent about twenty minutes in the chapel afterwards. First I did my penance, then I prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet, which I've started praying with my daily rosary. After I finished the chaplet, I sat and contemplated the crucifix. The CSC has a really nice one; I like looking at it to stay focused during Mass. I thought about the Crucifixion, and how in it's unique insane way, that is love. Love is not sex, or chocolate, or material gifts -- and it definitely means having to say you're sorry. Coming to Earth, withstanding persecution, and dying in such a horrible way for people that do not deserve it -- that's love.

After Confession, we had a session about love's impact on Catholic social justice teaching. I thought it was an okay talk, but really out of place. Apparently, the second half of the encyclical addresses that; I haven't actually read it. Social justice is always controversial. We'd dealt with enough controversy in the NFP guy's talk. All the midshipmen from the Naval Academy were in the other session, so I only know it by hearsay, but apparently they were all over the monsignor and the other woman who gave that talk. It was definitely my least favorite part of the day.

Once that awkward talk was over, we ended the day with Mass. We had Bishop Gonzales celebrating, which was cool since I haven't been to a Mass with a bishop since Confirmation. Fr. Bill, Fr. Panke, Fr. Gurnee from GWU, the priest I had as my confessor, and the priest from Gallaudet all concelebrated. The female ASL interpreter signed through Mass as well, which was really cool. I glanced over once and saw the students signing their responses during Mass. The bishop's homily was really long and not terribly relevant to the readings, but that was okay. It was really interesting regardless, and he was funny, and I already heard a more relevant homily last month, since that's the second of the Masses I taped with Fr. Bill for EWTN.

Then we had dinner, which was barbecue like at Wednesday night dinner this week, but I think it was beef tonight instead of pork. I mentioned to Kelsey that the CSC is the only place where I'll eat something when I'm not entirely sure what it is, and she realized the same is true for her. I helped move some furniture in after dinner, then walked back up to the dorm with Jim. He's a good walking buddy. Overall, it was a wonderful day. I had a good Confession, and that first priest's speech was awesome, and I spent all day thinking about God's love.

Events of the past few days are next. In Bible study on Thursday, Michelle and Tim's friend Ed both showed up, so we had nine people. That's our biggest group ever. It was a really good study, though. We've started the Passion Narrative now, so we did the second trial before Pilate and the Way of the Cross this week. We got so caught up in our discussion that it spilled over into the Crucifixion, but we decided we'll still have things to discuss next week. (Sarcasm sarcasm.)

I stuck around the CSC for a Holy Thirty Minutes on Wednesday night. I'd only intended to stay for 15, but Evening Prayer and the brother's talk kept me there longer. The talk was interesting, about how we can't hide from God. It's an innate reaction, but in the times when we most want to hide from Him, that's when we need Him the most. Then I came back to work on my Af Am lit paper. I'd taken notes already, so I just had to expand my midterm essay into the paper. I finished around 12:30am, which is excellent for a paper-writing night for me. I guess it helps to start the night before the night before it's due.

Thursday was actually pretty good. We spent Spanish class in the Jimenez computer lab working on our compositions. I came back to reread and print my paper. The grad student was back, so after two more presentations, we watched the video we'd thought irrelevant. She'd asked another professor and found out it got more general after the very beginning. I took some notes, so the time wasn't totally wasted. And some of the art they'd filmed was really pretty. I had a lovely lunch with Thursday lunch people, then went to edit my Keystone stories in the HH lounge, where Andrew shared the cookies his mom sent him. I want my mom to send me cookies. It'd be less trouble to drive them here, I know, but still. Adolescent Dev was interesting. Casey talked about adolescents "going steady," using his girlfriend of exactly five years as an example (aww-inspiring, I know). He's the president of the Maryland Academic Quiz Team, and his brother used to date Maura, but I don't think he knows me. At dinner that night, I was sitting with the 4400 when about ten CSC people showed up after Mass. It was weird to be with one group, but with another group I belong to right at the next table. I also had a yummy milkshake and Shane West was lovely on ER.

Friday morning, I gave my oral presentation in Spanish, the one my TA let me reschedule. I gave it on my family, so it was pretty easy. There's a girl in my class whose name I can't remember, but who speaks good Spanish. She said I did a really good job, so I know it at least went over well with her. We discussed Thomas Paine's "Age of Reason" in colonial lit, which was awkward. So much religious discussion in my classes this semester. Lunch was lovely, and then I went to Stations.

I decided this week to start kneeling again during the rosary when I pray it before daily Mass. Wednesday was almost excruciating because I also read, so I was kneeling or standing for a very long time. (Side note: "Excruciating" is from the Latin for "of the cross." Those of us who have never been crucified don't really know what excruciating pain is.) I discovered the bruises forming on my knees again this morning. It wasn't until Wednesday night dinner that I remembered I'd stopped kneeling not because it hurt, but because it bruised my knees. Sigh. I just feel so conspicuous sitting while everyone else kneels. But I'm not willing to risk my knees for conformity.

I haven't done any homework yet because I went to play Simpsons Uno with the 4400 last night, so I have to get to that now. Still riding high on God's love, though. Unconditional emotions are handy like that.

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