I have broken my own blogging rule. I was discouraged by the lack of comments. I never intended to be the kind of blogger who craves comments, especially considering that I am listed in only one web ring, St. Blog's. Alas, that is me. (Translation: Please comment! It makes me feel special.)

Last week's Friday Five is much better than the one before it. There was a whole debate going on in the comments about how much it sucked.
1. What is the most adventurous food you've ever tried? Sushi. Never made it past the seaweed, though. Oh, and either hummus or baba ganoush, which is made from eggplant. They looked the same, so I'm not sure which one I got. It was gross, though (and yes I tried enough to really know what it tasted like).
2. What is the most adventurous food you'd be willing to try? I don't generally try new things. Probably something else green. It's been my goal to work my way past lettuce enough to actually eat a salad someday. (Stop laughing, you.)
3. Would you have a problem eating dog meat and why or why not? Yes. See previous answer re: new things. I think that would fall next to deer in my mom's "it's too pretty to eat" reasoning.
4. For the most part, do you consider your diet to be balanced? ::dies:: Of course not. I eat terribly. I overlook Maura's messiness, and she overlooks the things I eat. It works out nicely. And I take multivitamins, eat wheat bread, and drink water, so it's not all bad.
5. Which is more appealing - being a vegetarian for the rest of your life or being a strict carnivore for the rest of your life? I'm going to take "strict carnivore" as "never eats vegetables", so despite my love of potatoes (yes, that's a starch; no, I don't care) I'll have to choose that one. Veggies are not my friends. Even VeggieTales is iffy.

Last week was long and boring. I started my OfficeTeam assignment for the week on Monday. Now, I'm not big on trying new things, so heading out to a place I'd never been before to work for two weeks was not high on my chart. Unfortunately, I am a student -- and one studying for an underpaid career -- so I can't pass up a chance to make some money. That said, I got up super-early (before 5am) to go for drug testing and then to my job. The plan was to get up earlier than early, go do the drug test, then get to work a bit late. I was supposed to report at 8am, so I figured I'd get there around 8:30 easy.

I had such a rough day.

I'd prepared for the day by getting three sets of directions from MapQuest: from my house to the drug testing place, from the testing place to work, then back home. Imagine my frustration when, just after I got dressed, my mom knocks and says, "You don't have to take 95 North, do you?" In case you missed it, that was the morning a pedestrian was found dead on the road just before dawn, causing an unbelievable traffic jam due to the police investigation. I struggled to get ready on time, printing the "avoid highways" version of the directions to the drug test. I like to look at the pop-up maps before I use MapQuest directions, to try to visualize the route, but I was already running late, so I had to skip that.

So I got in my car and headed down Route 5, glancing at the long line waiting to get on 95, knowing that it would be even rougher than usual for those people. I followed my MapQuest dutifully... or so I thought. I got to a traffic circle that wasn't in the directions (should have looked at those pictures!) and went straight, hoping to find my turn eventually. Then, another traffic circle. I was so stressed out. It was taking way longer than I'd thought by that point. The road I was on ran out -- I hate it when they change the names of perfectly straight roads like that -- so I made a U-turn and headed back to the last circle. In the circle, I saw a turnoff for 95 North, so I took it, and wound up on the highway I'd been trying to avoid. So much for that idea.

I switched back to the highway directions and followed them up to Martin Luther King, Jr. Highway. Not sure which direction to go, I turned left and headed down the highway. That was a bad choice. I drove down the road, squinting at every sign I passed, looking for my turn. I'd been driving for at least ten minutes when I realized I should have gotten to the right street very quickly, so I followed the confusing traffic and wound up making a right turn. I saw a row of parked cars in the right lane, so I pulled over, hit my flashers, and called my mom. "Mom, I'm lost, and I'm late." I panicked, then managed to calm down while she called OfficeTeam and MapQuest-ed from her office to help me figure out where I was. It was around 9am or so by then, so all hope of being remotely on time for work was long since lost.

So, once I had new directions to the drug testing place, I set out again. I wound up on what OfficeTeam told my mom was the right street, so I was so excited. Then I went the wrong way on it, so I made one of the many, many U-turns that dotted that morning and went back the other way. No luck. I pulled into a parking lot and called the place to tell them where I was, so they could tell me how to get to where they were. Again, I set out down the highway... and it changed names. I was so worn out. I drove around and pulled over yet again to call my mom. Then I finally found the right office plaza, where it took a little more wandering to find the right office. I drove for two hours straight to get somewhere that should have taken about thirty minutes.

The drug testing place was remarkably crowded for midmorning. It was around 9ish when I checked in. I left around 10, having survived a number of awkward moments. I don't even usually drink caffeine, and that's nice and legal.

Then, it was back out to 95. I'd assumed the traffic would be gone by then. The investigation actually went on for most of the day, but I only had to go two exits, so I was okay. I made my way to the BW Parkway, and proceeded to go much too far, so I had to turn around. Fun moment: the police car I'd spotted facing the direction I originally went had pulled someone over after I got off and back on. I got to Greenbelt Road, where, you guessed it, I went the wrong way again. I was pretty much ready to die at that point. And I was dressed up for work, which only added to my discomfort. By the time I got to my assignment, it was just after 11am. Three hours late. I called my mom, weary and not looking forward to the hours of work ahead, but finally in the right place. Luckily, OfficeTeam had not specified how late I would be, so I didn't have that against me right off the bat.

I walked into the lobby to find only elevators. No desk. I called OfficeTeam on my cell phone to ask where I was supposed to be going; the staffing person I'd talked to wasn't there, but the woman who answered knew. I went upstairs and asked for Mary, my supervisor. She introduced herself, then the receptionist asked where I'd parked. I said I was on the side; I'd bypassed the spaces marked "visitor" since I didn't think I was one. Of course I parked in the wrong place. It seems I am... and one who couldn't remember her license plate for registration with building security.

So, after two hours straight of driving and a drug test, I was sent away to move my car. Yet another thing I couldn't get quite right. Only by the grace of God did I not have a complete nervous breakdown right there in my car.

When I went back upstairs, Mary was busy, so I had to sit and wait for her. Then she got the floor manager, so I waited longer for her. Angie gave me a locker for my purse and lunchbox (I'm supposed to be making money, not spending it on food) and a smock. It's this gigantic white shirt with sleeves generally too short for my arms, but all except the highest employees wear them, so I deal. Then she handed me off to Brenda, another number monkey (my term, not theirs).

Brenda gave me a crash course in Regulus's (HARRYPOTTEROMGZ!!!!!!!11 -- the sole bright spot of my day) brand of data entry, and I got to it. You know how, when your bills come in the mail, you fill out the little coupon and write your check and send it away? Well, several local companies (from Cingular to Wells Fargo Home Mortgage to the US Conference of Catholic Bishops) have their bills sent to a post office box in Baltimore, from which they go to Regulus's Greenbelt center. Some people open and sort the envelopes, another group scans them into the computer, and then they come to the big batch of computers, where we enter the info on the checks and stubs to send it all to the company to update the customers' accounts. What I do is navigate my way through the computer program until a check or stub pops up on my screen. Then I type in the amount and move to the next check or stub. I do this over and over until it's time for a break, around two hours at a time. I start at 8, and I leave at 5.

It's a really boring job, but like I keep saying, I do it solely for the money (and also to alleviate boredom, but I can read for pleasure for hours and hours at a time). Brenda was really helpful, considering she was doing her own work while she helped me out. There were two other temps from OfficeTeam last week, both guys that go to Maryland. We were on the same schedule for breaks and lunch, so we talked a little. I dressed up again on Tuesday (though I can't remember why exactly ...), but I'm back to jeans now. The smocks cover up our clothes, so people wear everything. That first day, Angie was wearing a velour tracksuit. I mostly keep to myself, but it doesn't really get lonely. Just tedious. And I figured out to bring my CD player; most of the people listen to music while they work. I've entered checks ranging from 2 cents (seriously) to just over $300,000, though last week one of the manager had a million-dollar check. I also learned that Verizon uses Cingular. I'm not sure what for, but that's ironic.

Here are some of the things I've pondered as a number monkey that I wish to share with you:

• CD players go through batteries a lot less quickly when you turn off the anti-skip thing, since it stays flat on the desk anyway.
• Many people don't know how to properly write a check.
• Many people use ridiculously illegible handwriting, even on important legal documents, such as checks.
• I'm pretty good at reading ridiculously illegible handwriting, which could come in handy as a teacher.
• Please note the correct spelling of the following words: forty, ninety, thousand, fourteen, nineteen, eighteen, two, six.
• Sending a completely blank check will not get your bills paid.
• Sending a check that is dated, made payable, and signed will only get your bills paid if you write in the amount as well.
• The second line on a check (under the "payable" one) is called the legal line.
• If your check is a mortgage payment, make sure the legal line says what it's supposed to say; that is what we enter.
• Notice that after the legal line is printed the word "dollars", written out. This means you should write out the amount on this line in words. Don't rewrite it in numerals; if we can't decipher your numerals, that is entirely unhelpful.
• If the amount you put on the legal line is not a whole-dollar amount, you should list the cents as a fraction. This agrees neatly with the "dollars" printed at the end of the line. One dollar is 100 cents; therefore, your fraction should be X/100, where X is replaced by the cents. This is not the same as 100/X. If you have a whole-dollar amount and wish to write in a fraction anyway, please make your 00/100, no/100, or XX/100 legible. It might look like other numbers, which is very frustrating for the number monkey that has to read your check.
• If you make a mistake and wish to correct it rather than starting a new check, crossing it out and writing it in the empty space is a much better idea than trying to write over it.
• If your check designs are Kiss (the rock band) or I Love Lucy, know that you made a number monkey smile.

I'm always in bed by 10:30pm, so my days have been odd lately. I intended to crash hard on Saturday to make up for my weekday exhaustion. Stupid body clock woke me up at 8:30. I grumbled and forced myself back to sleep for half an hour. Saturday was spent mostly resting and lounging at home, which was lovely after working all week.

I did, however, have to go to Wal-Mart. My car's oil light beeps randomly. I checked the dipstick last week (I have so many skills) and it was fine. The last time I had this problem, I had my oil changed and Mindy (my car) was fine, so I planned to try that remedy again. I drove up to Wal-Mart a few minutes behind my mom and Courtney, who was getting her nails done. (We are such opposites.) The last time I went, I parked in the wrong place and screwed up everything. Mom had to come to my rescue. (Okay, so not that many skills.) So this time, I parked in the right area and went inside, where I waited for quite some time before the people working there got around to helping me. I was sent back outside to move my car (horrid déjà vu). I came back in and told the attendant guy what I wanted, gave him my keys, and went back into the store to kill time (read: shop) for an hour. I timed it perfectly. I came back to retrieve my car, only to be told, "Oh, yeah, they didn't do yours," and receive a perfectly useless sheet marked "CANCELLED" in big black letters. My oil pan is damaged, probably from my accident. I managed to get past that, and now it's come back to haunt me. And I have to just deal with the oil light.

I went to church with Mom on Sunday. Our guest priest was awesome. He's a former campus chaplain, so I can tell Fr. Bill will still be awesome in twenty years or so. He actually made us laugh out loud, but we were chuckling all through his homily. It was a great Mass; I complimented him on my way out. Monday was a very welcome day off. I have some "state of the world" race-related comments I could make, but in the interest of saving your eyes, I'll refrain for now.

This week has been more of the same. More numbers, hours of typing. I am excellent with that number pad now. The storm this morning wasn't fun. I'm pretty sure my wiper blades need replacing. Mom let me drive her car once last week, since she only goes to the Metro station, but I'm more comfortable in my car, old as it is. Work was so slow today that they let us go at 1:30. I could have used the extra hours, but I'd already managed to get paid for time spent staring at the screen, waiting for something to enter, mentally singing along to my CDs, so I avoided rush hour and got gas so I don't have to squeeze it in tomorrow morning.

Darnit. Blogging today means I'll have nothing to say on Friday, or even Saturday. Then again, I never really do.

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