Look, everyone it's the Friday Five -- on an actual Friday!
1. What did you want to be when you grew up? The first thing I can remember wanting to be is a nurse. By "remember," I mean "view pictures and preschool sentences of." Then I realized nurses have to deal with sick people and blood. Not so cool. Then I think I wanted to be a teacher, then a writer. The writer thing held on for a long time. Wait, who am I kidding, I still want to be a writer. But I sort of already am.... I confused myself more than is sane.
2. Did you follow through? If not, what happened? I should read ahead when I do these. Like I said, the nurse thing petered out. I decided that, though I fully intend to publish something in real book form, I will settle for making money studying and teaching about books until I get to publish one.
3. Is your life turning out the way you thought it would when you were a kid?If not, is it better or worse? I didn't think much about being an adult when I was little. I used to walk around in my mom's high heels a lot. My mom has never been big on going to church, and my dad is only recently Catholic, so there wasn't any talk of (religious) vocations at all. And I stapled together the pages of my sixth-grade journal entries, so I don't know about those ambitions.
4. Paradoxes aside, if you could time-travel back to when you were 10 years old, what would you tell your 10-year-old self? Be patient. You'll get back to God soon, and that will be amazing. I don't know yet if you'll ever be that cool grandma with long gray hair and stories to write and tell, but even if you don't, you will find some way to make the world better in the course of your life. Just hang in there through the awkwardness and the sadness, and it really will turn out okay.
5. Do you think the child you were, would like the adult you've become? Yes. My goals in life are to be happy and to love and serve God. The child I was wouldn't be crazy about the God part, but I think she'd be good with the happy part. I still write, and I have awesome friends, and I feel... fulfilled. And I like kids. So I think she'd like me.

I would say Saturday was mostly homework, but I really don't think that's true. Saturday night was the CSC Volunteer Christmas dinner. Despite the cold and wind, I decided to wear a skirt. It was a long skirt, though, and Maura started getting ready so late we were walking fast anyway, so my legs were fine. We went to Mass first. Maura would have gone to Mass anyway, since she had the last day of her show on Sunday afternoon. I went because it was just easier. Tim (our Bible study leader and one of my small group leaders from First Timers' Retreat) played the drums in the two-guitars-and-drums choir. Father Bill gave a great Advent homily, but all his homilies are great. After Mass, we met up with some other people we know and found a table in the Great Room for dinner. Maura had to run after hors d'oeuvres (I tried to spell that like seven times (checks dictionary) and still got it wrong, dangit), and Ali left quickly, too. The rest of dinner was actually really fun. I sat with Deacon Drew, Alan, Jim, Estefania, Lyzii, Kaitlin, and Chris after Ali and Maura left. The food was really good. I volunteered to join the group leading Christmas carols, which was energy-filled and fun. Except when we sang "Adeste Fidelis," which is "O Come, All Ye Faithful" in Latin. I can't sing in Latin. I walked back to the dorm with Lyzii and Jim. It was a good night.

I got to sleep in just a bit on Sunday. I didn't have to get up for church, so I decided to try to be ready for breakfast early. That didn't work out so well. I wound up getting to the Diner about ten minutes before I usually would after Mass. I ate with Sarah and Laura, then came back and didn't work until Sara picked me up. We circled around until Hana came down, then picked up Rebecca in Lot 2 and headed out to Annapolis. Sara missed her exit off I-95, so we took the next exit and she attempted to turn around, but really just wound up going the same direction. So we got off at the next next exit and waited at Wendy's to assuage Sara and Rebecca's hunger. We finally got to the mall later than we'd planned, but with plenty of time left. We split into pairs for the first hour; I went with Rebecca. I managed not to buy anything during that time. I'm naturally indecisive, and I usually shop by myself, so even though I managed only to buy an Inuyasha calendar for my sister (such a thoughtful gift <end sarcasm>), I had fun.

Then Sara called, saying she'd lost Hana. I say everything went downhill when she stopped holding her hand. We met up with them near Santa, then switched pairs, so I went with Hana. We wound up in the Hallmark store, where I bought my second and final gift of the day, a glass rose figurine for my mom. She has this thing about decorating. We have very few bare surfaces. Every Christmas, it looks like the North Pole exploded in our house. (The key is that her birthday is Dec. 18. She was nearly literally born for Christmas.) Hana got her mom this adorable Swarovski baby panda. Then we all came back to campus. The ride back seemed way shorter than the ride up, probably because Sara didn't get lost. Driving directions should not consist of a few letters and words on a Post-It sized piece of paper. We parked in Lot 2, then we missed the Blue line back to North Hill, so we went to the North Campus Diner for dinner. It was weird being back there for the first time in six months. I got real food, Rebecca and Sara got drinks, and Hana decided to head back to her dorm by herself. The three of us walked back, shadowing Chris most of the way. He was on his way to Mass; I think his disappearance was partly due to being late for Mass and partly because we were all hopped up on adrenaline and girl time, so we were crazier than usual. We went to the Commons Shop, then I came back.

Monday, of course, pales in comparison to Sunday. So pale, in fact, that it has faded almost completely from my memory. I spent that evening working on my Frankenstein presentation for 301. The made-up project had no guidelines other than a combined time (25 mins.) and the topics and subtopics. I wasn't even sure whether my group would be presenting on Tuesday morning or not. So, I had to focus and write an outline for my part of the presentation, on contemporaneous reviews. It was an easy topic; I'm glad I snagged it. I kept getting distracted researching for my Comm speech. I just dislike 301 so much. It's hard to focus on things I don't like. With a boring reading assignment, my mind wanders so much. When I sit down to blog, I can focus until I'm done. Also, it snowed. Early snow means a miserable winter for Lindsay. I like the smell of winter, but I hate being cold. I had to take my umbrella to dinner. Hey, snow is precipitation. Water is water.

On Tuesday morning, I got up about ten minutes early and went down to McKeldin to make copies of my handout before class, since we didn't have nearly enough snow to get cancelled or delayed. I was all prepared to be upset because I'd miss breakfast, but I had time for a bagel. As class progressed, I realized that, much to my chagrin, we would not be presenting that day. Tired and frustrated, I went to the library to study, then to Spanish. After Spanish, I dropped off my books and went to Adoration for a little while. I went to dinner with Hana and Dan. I've been discerning (my vocation) since September. I had a really fulfilling Adoration experience, which I shared with Hana and Dan. I don't think I'm ready to tell anyone else, because I'm still working it out myself. I try not to intentionally withhold information from my blogging, but there are some parts of my heart I'm not willing to let bleed here for all to see. I spent the evening working on my Comm speech.

Wednesday started out blah. I had lunch with Guy, Dan, Seth, Scott, and Andrew. I saw both Catholic Dan and Jewish Dan within about two minutes of each other, which was interesting. We had fun conversation. Scott was playing with his leftover tortellini, which he arranged into the shape of the Chinese character for 7 (Andrew studies Chinese). I joked that he should take a high-contrast black-and-white photograph of it and sell it for millions. Then Andrew did -- take the photo, that is, not sell it. It eased me up for my speech, though my dressy clothes were quite uncomfortable by that point. We all left at the same time and walked the same direction for a few steps before Andrew and I veered off toward Taliaferro, as usual. Scott asked, "Is that way faster?" since he and Andrew both go to the Computer Science building after lunch. Andrew replied, "No, not really." I explained, "But there's more Lindsay this way!" So we split up, and Andrew said, "Yeah, there's really no other reason." Yay for Andrew.

I managed to completely forget my Spanish homework. Most of the class did, which greatly upset my teacher. Yet another sign of my mediocre semester, methinks. That put me in a bad mood on my way to Comm. I hadn't practiced this speech as much as my informative HP one, and I was unsure about the time limit and the pace of my speaking. Plus, I had to go last that day, so I had the entire class to be nervous and not pay attention to anyone else's speeches. My throat was getting dry right before it was my turn, which was terribly inconvenient. I think I got through it okay, though. Most of the class looked like they were listening (I have the eye contact thing down pat), and I don't think I ever saw the one-minute warning. My PowerPoint was fine, as far as I can tell. I read from it once, but it was a long quote.


I came back and changed clothes after Comm, then did... something I can't remember until it was time to leave for Mass. Maura came, yay. There were a lot more people there this week than usual. We had a Vigil Mass for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. I got to read, which was really cool because I got more compliments and got to read from Genesis. Another awesome homily from Fr. Bill, who was decked out in his gold chasuble. After Mass, Maura and I got in the (slightly befuddled) line for Confession. Fr. Bill had invited five other priests to help him cover everyone who showed up. We didn't have to wait long. I randomly got Monsignor Malloy, which was cool because it was completely random and I'd confessed to him before. Somehow, I don't mind confessing to priests who know who I am. He recognized me, but couldn't remember my name. Then again, I don't think I've ever told him my name. I don't mind being known as the black girl with the hair like this (accompanied by an appropriate gesture) that does the readings all the time. And I don't think I'll mind if he can't remember my name in the future. He's supposed to be constantly forgetting, anyway. Yay for the Seal. After I finished penancing... being penitent... praying, Maura and I got dinner and sat down to chat. We always sit with the same people, which kind of diminishes the social interaction part of Wednesday Dinner, but I'd rather have a couple of CSC people I know sort of well than a bunch I've met once or twice. There was this guy named Joe (I think), though. He counts as diverse. Sort of.

On the way back from the CSC, I got halfway back to the dorm before I remembered I meant to get the ARHU movie while I still had time. There were two guys in the lounge when I got there. I'm pretty sure the blond one said he was a second-year named Ben, and the other was a freshman whose name I promptly forgot. I came back and watched the movie, Boys Don't Cry. Oh, dear. It was violent and explicit, but in some way not as much as I was expecting from Andrew and Scott's assessment. Taking it back over to Wicomico and coming back, I felt both uneasy and very cold. I started one of the accompanying articles, then started dozing off, then gave up and started another, much more practical article before bed.

Thursday morning was a bit nervous, since I knew I'd have to present first in 301. I think our "panel" went well, though. Ira, the sole guy in our group, got the class listening again halfway in by revealing that there is a porn movie called Frankenpenis, which just barely related to his subject. It was awkward, but I bet everyone will remember that during the final. And knowing Auerbach, he probably really enjoyed hearing that.

I had such a hard time figuring out what to do until ARHU. Thursday was the actual Holy Day, so I didn't go to noon Mass like usual. I got lunch, then came back and tried so hard to finish the ARHU reading, but the theoretical article was just so boring. I really was falling asleep trying to comprehend those horrible, complicated sentences. So I gave up early, then finally went to class. It was long and not very interesting. Last week with just Tanya was much better, and I don't even like art history.

I had dinner with Maura and her friend Janet, since Andrew and Scott were going out with Guy for his birthday. I came back for Bible study, which was good but not as good as last week. I came back and forgot about Everwood, but then I caught the second half and ER. I was so upset with Hannah. I'm like, "No, Hannah! Don't shower with Bright! Be more like me! I liked it when you were like me for a while there! Stupid tv." And then they made Shane sing badly on ER, so I was like, "Aww, it's okay, Shane. I know you can sing better than that. You're just not a Christmas carol kind of guy."

This morning, I stumbled out of bed, turned off my alarm, and decided to look out the window to see if we got the snow they'd promised us. Sure enough, the hill was white except for the pathways. Instantly more awake, I got my glasses and looked out with Maura. She checked online, and found us closed until noon. I was stressing last night about my mediocre grades this semester (I know I've said that three times; school is very important to me), so it was nice to not have to go to my borderline class. I got back in bed for an extra hour, but I was so busy thinking that I didn't sleep well. I left for lunch at noon, met with Andrew, then went back over to their dorm to visit Scotty. He was very tired, having been up since 7:30am playing video games with Guy. The three of us walked over to Jimenez. I managed to slide once right outside the Diner, then almost again over by McKeldin. My Spanish teacher seemed very frazzled. Comm was fine. One girl gave a pro-GM foods speech, which I liked because that's one of my smaller pet causes.

I came home and checked my email a few dozen more times, then went out for an early dinner with Hana, Andrew, and Rebecca after I returned the library books I barely read. Hana went to her church thing, but the rest of us hiked over to CSPAC through ice and snow to see Sara's play. See, Sara, we love you enough to risk breaking our necks! I had some super-slip-n-slide moments, but I managed not to fall down. I slip a lot, but (knock on virtual wood) I don't usually fall. The play was pretty interesting. They had two groups do the same one-act play, but in different versions. The first was experimental and so crazy, but somehow cool. The second was more traditional and so different from the first. I had a good time. Rebecca drove us back to this side of campus, after Sara insisted on trying to clear the snow off her car with her sleeve. There was more sliding and I was very loud. Great fun.

Going shopping tomorrow with my mom. I hope I can manage to be more productive, as Christmas is approaching. And now I am very tired, so I think I will go to sleep early. W00t.

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