Ugh.
I don't really remember Wednesday, which I suppose means nothing curcial happened, so I'll move on in the Lindsay Didn't Blog Recap.
Yesterday, I was in a really bad mood. I was just bitter, pretty much all day. We watched this 40th anniversary series of JFK assassination shows from the History Channel in Adkins, since we'd finished the discussion points and the test was today. It was disturbing to see that fatal head shot, not once, but twice. No matter what the Warren Commission said, one of those shots had to have come from the front. Faking video in those days would have been too much to bother with, and a shot from the rear wouldn't have caused damage like that. I feel so sorry for Jackie. That must have been traumatic, to have your husband so brutally murdered right next to you. She had his brain in her hands, and somehow she managed to keep living. That's a true woman of character.
I stayed for It's Academic, the first time this week. Andrew read, and Greg and I played on opposite sides to balance things out. There was a new junior girl there, but I didn't get her name. She had really pretty hair, though.
So I came home and struggled to get everything done, still managing to not study properly for my Adkins test today and talk to Greg about our SAT lesson.
The bus was late to school. Again. I'm used to it by now. It's weird being there on time on days when I have a ride to school. We had a quiz in PreCal. We were interrupted by the fire drill just after 10:00, so she told us to mark one question extra credit and just turn them in so we could get to our next class.
RP was blah. I worked on a hasty script for the SAT lesson, then watched a mostly pointless
60 Minutes tape on human growth hormone. I know all about it from an article I read in
The Washington Post for one of Mr. Witko's "magazine reports". I always use the Health section (Tuesdays) for those. Oh, and speaking of the
Post, there was a really excellent article in last week's
Magazine about movie ratings. Apparently, the PG-13 rating only came into being in the mid-80's, with
Gremlins. It wasn't bad enough for R, but at the time the only lesser rating was PG, and people were very upset by that. The problem with PG-13 is the R-caliber content that sneaks in there. You can use the f-word in PG-13 movies, but only once, and not in its "true sexually derived meaning." As the writer's example, you can say, "I want to f--- you up," but not, "I want to f--- you." It's a gray area. Movie ratings are not law, and the people who assign ratings are paid by movie studios. The whole process is shady.
Moving on. I tried to wait for Mr. Witko third period to give him my pass, but he didn't show, so I just left. Ms. Maiden and all the other people were in the ITV room to film a student SAT prep video. I figured participating couldn't hurt. I was wrong. First, Ian was impossible again. His pretentiousness never used to bother me, but lately it's just too much. One of these days I'm gonna go
Carrie on him. Greg and I taught root words. After we'd finished, Ms. Maiden and the other lady tried to convince us that some of our roots weren't roots. I paid no attention. If she wanted to approve our lesson like that, she couldn't have. We didn't have enough notice to nitpick like that. I only found out and had my publicity form signed on Tuesday, and we discussed it a total of once, yesterday afternoon.
The taping ran into fifth period. So, I missed my lunch
and I was late for Adkins. He was fine with my excuse, and I got to work on the test. I didn't get to study properly, so I don't think I did very well. And I was frustrated and tired and on the verge of tears because everything was piling up again.
I left seventh period (without my graduation brochure thingy) to go to the cafeteria. Ms. Maiden ordered pizza for the "SAT Video Club". I was
so hungry by then, and very grateful for the food. Then we went to the Honor Roll Assembly. I think we missed the choir, but the band and Blue Guards (drill team) were both fantastic. I trapised down the near-treacherous bleachers to get my pin, was photographed by Mrs. Crowe, and sat back down.
I was in a b*tchy mood today. Seriously. Everything from the arrival at school to pizza was just bad. Bad, bad, bad. Like it was Lindsay and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I came close to sobbing at least twice. And Greg. He's always there for me, always. Even before we dated, even through Mark. Lately, I've been in a terrible mood. Sometimes I can let it go and enjoy myself, but I still have this massive gray cloud hanging just out of sight. Greg must feel like that cloud moves over to him. I want to let go, I want to let it all out, I really do. I'm just afraid. Afraid because, if I look at it honestly, it's my own damn fault that I'm suffering a lot of this stress. Afraid that it's going to eat me alive. Afraid that if I let it out, I won't be able to harness it in again.
After spending time with (sort of) just Greg at the assembly, I felt much better. And I met my mom's cousin Stephanie, who drives a bus at our school. She said I looked like my mom. Go figure. My day started out terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, but then got better, and it was freakishly warm. That is all.
::returns:: I was wrong. That's not all.
Friday Five: Five Things.
1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year. Submitting all my college applications, playing the piano again, write a snail-mail letter, start clearing out my room in preparation for moving out next fall (never too early), and get my driver's license.
2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again. Amber, Tasia, Rose, David V., and Paul S.
3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do. Sew, play guitar, do a cartwheel, give myself a pedicure, and... I don't know what else.
4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit). Set aside many thousands for my college education, donate to the Red Cross, donate to the ASPCA, donate to BookAid, and set aside enough for a new car when I'm ready.
5. List five things you do that help you relax. This is the worst question for me right now, so I'm not even going to pretend that I can answer it.
