I've been working all day again. I'm still unfocused, which is aggravating. How am I supposed to get anything done if my mind keeps wandering? I reread a line of my notes for my English paper to figure out where I am, but then I hear a song I like on the radio, or even-more-distracting commercials come on, and I forget where I was
again. Or, I look out the window and watch the trees leaning in that heinous wind, and wonder if those purple flowers drowned, got blown away, or just reached the end of their short little life spans. See what I mean?
Despite the self-caused distractions, I managed to take quite a few more notes. I think this project's finally clicking; I get what we're supposed to be doing. At first, my notes were just plot summaries. But now I'm starting to analyze the rhetorical devices and look for allusions and things like that. I only have half the resources I need, though. I still need the Bible one, Edgar Allan Poe, and Langston Hughes. It turned out not to be as hard as I'd thought to reach my own conclusions, and then connect them with the "experts". My analyses are pretty close to theirs, but just different enough so you can tell they're mine.
But enough about school. It's getting on my nerves again. My oldest friend (that is, the one I've had the longest and still keep in touch with, to a certain degree) Jenn graduated today. It always slips my mind that she's a year ahead of me. I think her birthday is the same day as Mark's, actually. I forget what college she's going to, but she lives in Iowa, and I know it wasn't far from there.
I just realized that I have not set foot outside all weekend. Going out with Greg every weekend spoiled me. Before, when I stayed in all the time, it was just because I didn't really have anywhere to go. This weekend, I stayed in because I
have to work, and going off to do something is only going to discourage me from it. But Alanna made me realize last week that I do go out with Greg a lot. I spend a lot of my old sit-around-the-house time with him, but some of that is also do-homework-and-random-cleaning-endeavors time. I still need that time. But I want to spend time with Greg, too. I'll work it out.
I still have as many things to do now as I did yesterday. It feels like I made no progress. And if I continue on like this, I'm not going anywhere.
